By way of introduction, if you’ve never been to any of my other blogs and aren’t already familiar with my writing, ‘The Ordeal’ is how I posthumously refer to the period of my life post 2011 to 2015.
Casper is the humorous nickname I have assigned to my ex husband—‘Casper The Ghost’. It was during the period of ‘The Ordeal’ that I was lost in space, flailing around, and trying to figure out which end was up—a direct result of my husband’s capricious ghosting of our 29 year marriage/ life together.
Also let me say that if this is the first post you are reading, I need to make sure that I clarify that this blog is not a narcissistic abuse recovery support blog site. Rather, it is simply a HUMOR site. A place for me to stash humor pieces that I’ve written about my story. So—depending on where you may be in your journey if you’ve also been dumped [and how fresh your wounding may be] this may or may not be a site for you.
This is just a site for me to tell my crazy yet humorous story, long after the fact. Long after the fact that I’ve had had a lot of time to heal.
If detailed information and personal support are what you need, there are plenty of other excellent sites that may help you on the internet. Many of them are here within the WordPress.com community itself.
Those bloggers and those sites do an excellent job of providing a touchstone for those of you still reeling at the hands of your dastardly devils. From my experience, they are an excellent place to get a whopping dose of external validation for something that, at first, seems so unbelievable. Something, that by reading these sites, you will find to be not that unusual at all. Something, that if you’re lucky, you may eventually find a tad bit humorous as well.
Said another way: This blog is purely for entertainment and creativity purposes—a vehicle to indulge my somewhat twisted sense of humor and creativity, drawing upon the events of my very real [and also once tragic] experiences.
To tell you a little bit about me, I am a card-carrying member of the Once Brokenhearted Fools Club. Ms. Humpty Dumpty here [aka me] got chumped—big time. I have the dubious distinction of being a the quintessential ‘mark’ for emotional manipulation. Yeah, look up any of the words below in the dictionary and you’ll no doubt either see a picture of me, or at least find me notated in the honorable mention reference section. Oy vey!
No doubt about it, boys and girls. I was a schmuck, dolt, dimwit, Pollyanna, blockhead, boob, sucker, … you get my drift. And I’m not afraid to admit it. You know, admitting to a problem is the first step in fixing that problem. Today I don’t even care if people laugh at me, because the truth is, I WAS all those things! [Notice that I didn’t say I ‘am‘ those things?] Your mileage my vary, but it took a series of harsh face-plants to the pavement to wise up, but I eventually did.
Prior to ‘The Ordeal’, I existed as an otherwise intelligent professional woman. How I got chumped so badly was that I willingly put all my eggs in one basket several decades prior. Sigh …
Yes, I was so naively love-struck and starry-eyed that I willingly gulped down all of Casper’s propaganda—especially that ’till death do us part’. Talk about an enticement and emotional hook. Bait and witch. [Pardon me, I just threw up in my mouth a bit and I need to clear my throat.] LOL.
Now where was I? Oh yes … how I got here … Well, because I had my identity squirreled away in one place [in my relationship with him], Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall and shattered into a billion pieces when he up and left one day with no notice.
NOTE: If anyone reading this leans to the conspiracy side of things—you’ve probably already sniffed out the story line. Yep, you’re right. I was pushed! Go ahead. Alert the tabloids. I could use a royalty check for selling my story right about now. [Smile.]
Obviously I jest. But seriously though, as I hit the ground, shards of my [thought-to-be] time-tested/happy marriage and stable home life flew everywhere. I quickly discovered that the steel girders that [I erroneously thought] underpinned my ‘happily-ever-after’ weren’t anywhere close to being up to code.
So, lacking the tensile strength to maintain any kind of upright structure, they succumbed to catastrophic failure, just like The Twin Towers on Sept 11th in New York City. Bricks from the wall where I had been so happy to reside were thrown everywhere—blown apart by the impact of Casper’s sudden announcement.
One by one, even the few reinforced girders that were left standing made that creepy eery noise and slowly toppled to the ground as well. And then … there it all lay. Everything I’d known as my life for decades was instantly reduced to a pile of rubble on the ground. Who knew? Not a very pretty site, for sure.
So, while I was still coughing and trying to find my bearings amidst the smoke and falling debris, Casper and Satan’s Mistress [the other woman] boarded a plane and jetted off to another continent—laughing a raucous cackle. They’d pulled it off! They no doubt were celebrating that they could now kick back and relax without wifey mucking things up in the background.
With Phase One completed, they delegated Phase Two of my take-down to a subcontractor—their friend, The Wicked Witch of the ‘West’.
By the time the tail of their jet disappeared into the clouds, flying monkeys had already been dispatched and were beginning to circle overhead in tight formation. The only thing missing from my real-life movie trailer was the haunting echo and added threat of, ‘And I’ll get your little doggie too!’
There’s always a silver lining. Since I’d never been much of an animal person, there was no little doggie for The Wicked Witch or her monkeys to come after. So all you dog lovers reading this can breathe a sigh of relief. There’s still a cute little Fluffy or Fifi out there—alive and kicking—still enjoying his/her daily ration of Alpo.
The legal fine print: Absolutely no animals were harmed in the making of this tragedy.
This post was written in February 2015 and was originally posted in another blog