After my husband ghosted me, I was a bit like Rip Van Winkle. In a stress-induced coma, I was immobilized and unconscious. I grieved like an idiot—for almost nearly five years.
Well, even brown bears can’t hibernate that long (!) so I eventually had to wake up. Duh!
When I finally did wake up, I decided that is was high time to stop all that stupid.
My first order of business was to dispense with the black garments of my widowhood—once and for all.
Seriously y’all, I really needed a change of clothes. My husband hadn’t died—he left me for another woman. Big difference.
As anyone who knows me would attest, black has always been my favorite color. As a consultant working with physicians, a black business suit was a staple in my wardrobe. Besides, what’s more slenderizing than black?
So, after I thawed out a bit from my extended hibernation, I took a long hot shower. Then once I had my body temp back to normal, I went searching through my closet to decide what I should wear. Y’all, I want you to know that I have always been a trailblazer. I had 50 shades of black long before people became so enamored with the color gray. LOL.
Looking through my closet, I decided that ‘basic black and pearls’, a happy countenance, bright eyes, and a wry smile would send a much better message about who I am than that sad-sack, Jackie-Kennedy, wife-in-mourning, black-veil-thingy I’d been wearing for so long. Ewww!
My humor imp (‘Erma’) said: ‘You know, my dear, there’s a fine line between an outfit and a getup.’
I’d lost weight from all that grieving, so I thought, why not look through my ‘skinny’ clothes? Bingo! There is was. I grabbed my favorite Little Black Dress and proceeded to rummage through my jewelry box for that string of pearls.
I scurried off to put them on. After I finished dressing, I looked at my reflection in the mirror.
Interestingly, I noticed that I was somehow standing a bit more erect. That rounded-shouldered, old-lady-posture that I’d developed from spending so much time crying in fetal position was gone.
I took a half a step back and looked at myself in the full length mirror. I ran my hands over my waistline and hips, straightening my beautiful black dress. Pleased with what I saw in the mirror, I nodded approvingly.
Looking at myself, I had this nagging feeling that something was missing—but what was it? Hmmmm …. I already had my pearls on.
Deep in my gut, I felt that I needed a little something extra for my coming out party. Something tasteful … something that would add a bit of pizazz to compliment my dress … something to visually announce ‘the new improved me’.
With that in mind, I went back into the closet. Standing on my tippy-toes, I rummaged around on the top shelf again.
Pay dirt! There is was! In a wooden box shoved up next to the wall, I found just what I needed: a black party mask for the festive occasion.
Yep, that’s the ticket! I told myself.
I smiled at the ‘real me’ who—like Rip Van Winkle—was also facing a new world after a long, deep, death-like sleep. LOL
I leaned in, checked my hair, and winked at myself. I then turned off the light and boogied down the hallway—singing my own words to an iconic rock song.
Fittingly, the song had a dark Scorpio vibe that I needed. And like magic, it was pulling me away from my fun-loving Leo side of my personality, and over to my ominous Scorpio side. Astrology types say that a female born with a Scorpio Moon (as I was) thinks like this:
“My darling, I might appear to be nice … but never lose sight of the fact that— although I have forgiven you—I will never …evah! … forget what you did to me. Capeech?”
As I walked on, I fully expected Erma to say “Silly Girl!” as she had said so many times whenever I admitted loving Whats-His-Face. I figured she’d think I was being ‘out there’, with the party dress, mask, and all.
But surprisingly—when she heard the song that I’d picked out and was singing—she did something that shocked me. This time, she didn’t say, “Silly girl”.
Rather, she unfolded her arms … held them straight out and up … and gave me two [2!] enthusiastic thumbs up as I walked by.
So, what do y’all think? Me? I think it’s wonderful to finally be back … Back In Black.
Back in black—out the sack
I’ve been too long—I’m glad to be back
Yes, I’m—let loose—from the noose
That’s kept me hanging around
Been looking at the sky—-cause I’m on a new high
Bring on the hearse—gonna let him die
I got nine lives—cat’s eyes
Using every one—and I’m running … BYE!
‘Cause I’m back
Yes, I’m back
Well, I’m back
Yes, I’m back
Well, I’m back, back
Well, I’m back in black
Yes, I’m back in black